HUDDERSFIELD
Home to a man who has a hat made entirely from chewing gum
SLOUGH
Be sure to visit Cupid Marital Aids Boutique before it’s too late
HARLESDEN
Edibles and Vitamalt are available at House Wives Cash & Carry
BURY ST EDMUNDS
Look for the litter bin sponsored by the Womens Gas Federation ; compost
bins have been known to self-combust leaving smouldering stacks of grass
clippings on wheels
SUNDERLAND
The museum has a fascinating interactive pubic lice display but the cappuccino
in the café can be far too weak
BIRKENHEAD
Go to Grange Road precinct for Elastoplast at bargain prices; you may
also stumble upon gents sports socks (the ones with the red and blue rings
round the top)
FRATTON
A visit to ASDA ( The Cathedral’ ) is a must; shoppers are alerted
to cut price bargains by a uniformed woman ‘Colleague’ with
unique intonation and timing; Ooops! Was £3.29. Now 1p.
ELY
Local garden centre throws parties when new lawnmower models are launched
ANDOVER
Mrs Titchmarsh has her legs waxed here
LIVERPOOL
Pigs heads available for £2 each at St John’s Market; when
you’ve had enough of shopping, pop into the nearby Blob Shop. Dump
your carrier bags, order an Aussie White and have a little dance
SHEFFIELD
Don’t miss the Afghan Hound in a shell suit; its owners have a similar
‘look’ and are regular visitors to John Lewis’s.
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